The Lesbanese Cook

A virtual dinner table where forbidden stories are shared.

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The FOOD

Here you'll find recipes of Lebanese and Mediterranean dishes - simple, flavoursome, and more often than not, 'garlicful'😝. I hope you enjoy them. Sometimes, the story of the ingredients and the cultural context of the recipes will be included, to spice them up. Comment and share your food stories and thoughts.

The stories

With some recipes, I will share my conversations with the people I host on The Lesbanese Cook podcast. We will talk about food and memories, accounts of forbidden experiences and identity. I am grateful for the courageous people joining this conversation. I hope their voices resonate with you.

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Gender and Food: Over Biryani

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Sachal

There are men, there are women, there are people who are in between and I just kind of feel like I am looking at them from the outside and I am picking bits that I like… and I am picking different presentations that I like and they form a part of who I am.

That is how Sachal explained their non-binary gender identity. We talked for hours before sharing Biryani - a popular rice dish in the South Asian cuisine with many versions across the Middle East. In Kurdistan for example, you will find its close relative - ‘Arabic Biryani’ - laced with saffron and vermicelli. The vegetarian Biryani I made for Sachal blends the ingredients of several traditions, as you will notice below.

Born in Pakistan and raised as a boy, Sachal moved to the UK when they were twelve. Racism was rife where they lived. They were bullied, discriminated against and became acquainted with racial slurs that reduced them to an ethnic entity. As they became more isolated, Sachal’s relationship with food began to change, in parallel with their relationship to their body, and - perhaps unbeknown to them -  gender.

“If I change my body in some way, either it reflects something about me on the inside or it will change the way I am perceived on the outside. There are permanent parts of my body that I could never change and ways that I came across to white people that I could never change - my nose, the colour of my skin...

So Sachal settled on whatever they could change. Their relationship with all food, let alone Pakistani food, dwindled. As their appetite waned, Sachal grew their hair long, made themselves skinny and did away with masculine behaviours.

Research suggests that transgender people, whose assigned sex at birth does not match their gender identity, are more likely than cisgender people, whose assigned sex at birth matches their gender identity, to form a disordered relationship with food. Equally, the relationship between anorexia and body dysmorphia (the dissatisfaction with one’s own body and the perception that it is flawed) is well established(1). Gender dysphoria (the feeling that a person’s assigned gender or body at birth does not reflect their true gender) and body dysmorphia … where do they overlap and how does one inform the other?

I wondered if food is a tool to control gender through altering physical appearance. 

In Sachal’s case, they are not sure that it was. They believe that their relationship with food and the experiences that took place - gender identity, racism, physical appearance, sexuality and home -  certainly informed each other and existed along parallel lines… but the role that food played as a tool to shape and control the changes they experienced, remains uncertain.

Years later, Sachal would find themselves in a flat, sat on the stairs, reflecting on the friends who have ‘come out as non-binary’, wondering, if they too belong to a spectrum of gender identity that is not exclusively feminine or masculine. They did. From ‘he’ to ‘they’, Sachal stood in their own truth, reconciled their relationship with food, country, body and self. Today, with locks of hair draping on the right half of their face, jewellery in the left ear lobe, a delicate knitted turtleneck, jeans draping over odd socks, Sachal's genderqueer identity permeates through their beautiful physical attributes.

Eventually, going back to Pakistan became a positive experience, just like food. As we wrapped up our conversation, I felt eager to offer them the meals they cherished as a child and re-cherished again as an adult. In the days and weeks ahead I continued to reflect on food and gender, often wondering: are we starving away more than flesh?

Perhaps this question no longer matters - not in this story. Perhaps their discovery of their true self and their acceptance of it -  gender, sexuality and identity - is what lingers after the remains of Biryani decay. 

I asked them what it felt like to exist today, as a non binary person, born in Pakistan and living in the UK...

“I mean, great in some ways. I love being me”. 

Listen to our episode on The Lesbanese Cook Podcast 👇🏾 (also available on all podcast distribution channels)

 

1) Diemer et al. 2018. "Beyond The Binary: Differences in Eating Disorder Prevalence by Gender Identity In a Transgender People". Transgender Health. 3(1). pp. 1-23.

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Biryani is a very versatile dish, my friends.  This recipe is not set in stone. It has room for your creative input! If you prefer other or more vegetables than the ones I chose, then please use those to your heart’s content. Here it goes, friends: 

RECIPE

Prep 20 mins

Make 30 mins

Total 50 mins

Author: The Lesbanese Cook

Yield 4 people

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 4 cardamon pods
  • 4 cloves
  • 1 potato (chopped into cubes)
  • 1 carrot (chopped into cubes)
  • 1/2 cup of peas
  • 1/2 cup of beans (snap or runner)
  • 1 clove of garlic, crushed
  • 1/2 tsp of ginger, finely chopped
  • 1 tsp tomato paste
  • 1/4 cup of yoghurt
  • 1 tsp gram masala
  • 1/2 tsp chilli powder
  • 1/2 tsp cumin
  • 1/s tsp caraway
  • 3 cups of coconut milk
  • 1 1/2 cups of rive
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 tsp saffron
  • Salt (to taste)

MAKE IT:

Heat the olive oil in a wide based pot on medium heat. Add the cardamon, bay leaves, cloves and cinnamon for a couple of minutes, until their aroma is released. Add the onions, fry them until they turn light brown. Add the garlic, ginger and tomato paste.

Add the vegetables and coat them in the yoghurt, gram masala, cumin, caraway and chilli. Add the rice to the pot and cover with the coconut milk water. Mix everything together well then add the saffron and salt (to taste). Bring to boil, the bring to simmer and cover the pot for about 10-15 mins or until the water has been fully absorbed or evaporated. Add vermicelli at the end, if using, and feel free to add salt to taste.

With love...

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Mediterranean Mexican Halloumi Salad

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Middle Eastern and Arabic influence on Mexican food is hard to ignore. Lebanese flavours infuse Mexico’s gastronomy, from tacos al pastor to queso de Oaxaca (string Arabic cheese). I recently remembered this as I was trying to make a salad for lunch. 10 minutes later, using items found in most fridges and flavours from both worlds, this light and easy Halloumi with Salsa concoction came to life. Try it out and let me know what you think!

RECIPE

Prep  10 mins

Make 5 mins

Total 15 mins

Author: The Lesbanese Cook

Yield 1 person

 

INGREDIENTS:

For the salad

  • 1 tomato
  • 1 pepper (red/yellow/whichever colour you have– Mix it up my friends!)
  • 1/4 large cucumber
  • A handful of spinach
  • A handful of chopped lettuce
  • 4 thick slices of halloumi cheese
  • salt and pepper to taste

For the salsa

  • 1 lime
  • 1 Tbsp chopped coriander
  • 2 Tbsp olive oil
  • 1/2 small chopped chilli
  • salt and pepper to taste

 

 

MAKE IT:

Prepare the salsa by mixing all the salsa ingredients together in a bowl.

Chop the tomato, pepper and cucumber into equal small cubes. Mix them in another bowl with salt and pepper. Place the halloumi slices (without oil) on medium to high heat in a frying pan, until each side turns brown (don’t leave them too long otherwise the halloumi will lose all its moisture).

In the serving plates or bowls, layer the spinach and lettuce at the bottom. Add the tomato, pepper and cucumber mixture. Then layer the halloumi slices on top. Finally, drizzle the salsa over the halloumi and the rest of the salad.

 

Enjoy my friends.

Me Gusta.

Delicioso.

 

 

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Freedom over Fatayer

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Antonios

 

It’s almost a decade ago, a large Armenian-Lebanese family comes together over food and plenty of it at that. The table is crowded with dishes and plates, but only one takes centre stage: Fatayer.

Fatayer (plural of ‘Fatire’), are Lebanese pies - sometimes considered dumplings - stuffed with meat, cheese, spinach or other creative fillings. Commonly favoured as a side dish, in Antonios’ household they are the main show and it’s easy to understand why: the soft textured dough hugs the filling and releases its intense flavours with every bite, transforming each Fatire into a wrapped present for the mouth – a perfect celebration for large gatherings.

But for some time now, these delicious pies have come to taste like freedom. Between the traded stories and the passing of Fatayer, Antonios is Armenian, Lebanese and gay. They know about the gay, it’s ok. The meal continues.

We sit opposite each other on two bar stools with a microphone in the middle, tilting our heads as we maintain eye contact and a good vocal recording distance.

The first time I met Antonios he beamed with vividly coloured clothes. The second time was no different. He wore his smile brightly like he did his orange coat and his big round glasses perched high up, almost at the root of his nose. Much like his appearance, his knowledge fascinates me, as does his story.

‘Fatayer were always a family staple’ he tells me, unlike his attraction to boys, which he first noticed at the young age of ten. It all started with an innocent love letter. Antonios did not know that a boy who harbours feelings for another boy or man, was considered gay. Being gay was not ok… he didn’t know that either. So, he wrote his feelings down and sent them to the man of his affection at his school in Lebanon. What followed was a tragic but unsurprising chronology of events: he was bullied, humiliated then forgotten. A year or so later, the story faded and in the collective memory of the school, Antonios was gay no longer.

In the absence of sexual education at school and a platform in society, I wondered how he learned about sexual orientation. His answer was swift and certain: “porn”, he said. I laugh at the unexpected response. He enlightens me on the almost educational role that porn played in his teenage years.

We giggle a few more times as recounts anecdotes about growing up and his three big coming outs – to God, family and society. He speaks with candour infused with easy humour. His relationship with faith and God makes me smile. Out loud, Antonios told God that he was gay, that he loved him, and that should he be rejected for this revelation, he will continue to love him. Antonios loved God unconditionally. God must have taught him well.

Halfway through he asks me to pause the recording and I do. He bows his head down on my lap. My worried hands rest on him and I ask if he’s ok, reminding him we can pause, stop and erase it all. He sits up and quickly regains his smile and composure. He tells me that he wants people to hear his story, especially the ‘Armenian Lebanese gay male’ people. He recalls the story of the mirror that reflected back a Western identity, the foreign languages he used to come out and of course, food.

I ask if his experience of family over Fatayer changed after he came out. He tells me that food always tastes better when you’re able to be who you are.

To hear his full story listen to the full podcast @ The Lesbanese Cook

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The fatayer I made Antonios consisted of two filling types: cheese and spinach. I chose a simple and easy dough recipe. Here it goes!

RECIPE

Prep  45-60 mins

Make 20-30 mins

Total 65-90 mins

Author: The Lesbanese Cook

Yield 6-8 people

INGREDIENTS:

For the dough:

  • 3 cups of plain flour
  • 3 tbsp oil (ideally olive oil)
  • 1 cup of water
  • 1/2 tsp salt

For the cheese filling:

  • 1 1/2 cups of feta cheese
  • 1 1/2 cups of ricota cheese
  • 1 cup fresh parsley, chopped
  • 1 cup of chopped onions
  • 1 tsp salt

For the spinach filling:

  • 1 bag (200-250g) of washed spinach, chopped
  • 1 cup of chopped onions
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
  • 1 tsp sumac (optional – if not using, add 1 tsp of lemon juice instead)
  • 1 1/2 tsp salt
  • A handful of toasted pine nuts
  • Optional 1/2 cup of feta cheese

MAKE IT:

Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/gas mark 6.

In a deep bowl, mix the flour and the salt. Make a well in the centre and add the oil to the well then mix it into the flour.  Gradually add the water, bringing in the flour as you do and combining the ingredients to form your dough.

Flour your kitchen or work surface well, then transfer the dough and knead it on the floured surface for a few minutes, until it feels smooth. You can add a bit of flour if the texture is still wet. Shape the dough into a ball and place it in a lightly oiled bowl and let it rest as you prepare your filling.

For the Cheese Filling: Combine everything together then place it in a sieve over a deep bowl to drain any excess fluid.

For the Spinach Filling: Combine the spinach, onions, salt, olive oil, lemon juice, sumac (if using) together then place it in a sieve over a deep bowl to drain any excess fluid. Add the cheese (if using) and the pine nuts. Mix everything well.

There are two ways to shape the fatayer.  The first method: dust a work surface generously with flour Roll portions of the dough into sheets of about 3-5mm thickness. Cut circles of about 10 cm diameter each. Place one to two tbsp of the filling of your choice in the middle of the circle. Imagine each circle having three edges like a triangle. Lift two edges and bring them together from the top down, then lift the third edge up sealing it with the two edges. You should now have a triangle shaped fatire with filling inside.

The second method: If you find the method above too hard, dust a work surface generously with flour Roll portions of the dough into sheets of about 3-5mm thickness, then cut two circles of dough, place the filling in one circle, superimpose the second circle on top of the first one, and seal the edges of the two circles together. Make sure you seal it well so the mixture doesn’t ‘come out…’

Once the oven is ready, brush the fatayer with olive oil then place them on a baking tray lined with a baking sheet, about 2 cm apart as they will expand during cooking. Bake them for about 15-20 mins or until golden. If you’re feeling in the mood you can always deep fry them for a few minutes each. Up to you!

Serve them hot or at room temperature.

Embrace the little presents my friends 🙂

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The prohibited ice cream

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“In Baghdad, it wasn’t always safe for you, was it?

“No, but my family made me feel as though it was. We lived through little acts of rebellion. For example, we used to listen to forbidden music under the sheets and eat prohibited ice cream!"

Bryar

On the 6th August 1990, four days after Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait, the United Nations Security Council imposed a trade embargo on Ba’athist Iraq. Sugar – among other essential items - became scarce, as 90% of Iraq’s sugar supply was imported. As such, the non-essential use of sugar was forbidden. As you can imagine, ice cream was declared non-essential and the production and consumption of this sweet dessert was therefore prohibited. Those caught breaking the rules faced prosecution or worse. In a dim basement, with a man outside guarding the ice cream dealers within, Bryar broke those rules.

Born to a Kurdish family, in Khanaqin, an Iraqi city on the border of Iran, Bryar was forcibly displaced from his home at the age of two. Together with his family, they fled to Baghdad where they were stateless with no fixed home. They evaded the Ba’thist police by limiting their possessions to a suitcase of clothes: when the phone rings to warn them of an imminent raid, they carry the suitcases and run, finding shelter in the next place, waiting for the next call.

Without papers or identity cards, existing was prohibited. Yet, through little acts of rebellion, Bryar did. He recalls his story playfully, tenderly, with a youthful smile that stirs in my imagination the image of his younger self.

One night, Bryar’s uncle announces that he found ‘it’. Bryar and his dad look at each other and the three men head out in a car and drive to a ‘secret basement’. There, a man greets them at the door. ‘Do you have the stuff?’, a head nod follows. They enter the basement to be met by rodents and dirt. “It was the dirtiest place I had ever seen”, he laughs wholeheartedly, and I join him. He tells me that they didn’t care, the dirt didn’t matter, nor the rodents, because behind the counter was the treasure he’d been long anticipating. The ice cream now in their hands, they sit side by side, three men – one in a boyish body – surrounded by rodents, a war and an embargo: slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp.

In 2003, the embargo ended, and sugar was allowed again. I wonder if clean ice cream tastes as good. If the prohibited tastes of freedom, perhaps nothing will ever taste as delicious as the ice cream of that night.

In my living room, his story never feels as dark as it could be. Infused with a joie de vivre impossible to ignore,  his words lift me up and his story lingers long after the microphone is switched off.

I offer him my homemade ice cream in my rodent free home. My heart is full as I watch him enjoy it. Bryar’s eyes are filtered with compassion and love. I sit there and quietly pray that the Kurdish people, his people, find shelter, homes, identity cards, safety and of course, the sweet sweet taste of ice cream.

To hear his full story Listen to the full podcast @

 

Recipe

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Booza

Arabic Ice cream

The Arabic ice cream we shared together is known as “Booza”. Its consistency is more like melted cheese than a gelato. It’s stretchy, chewy, with a hint of unusual sweetness created by the orchid root flour (sahlab) and plan resin (mastic). The Sahlab or Salep might be hard to find. It can be easily substituted with flour. Try this recipe below and let me know what you think.

RECIPE

Prep  5 mins

Make 20-30 mins

Total 25-35 mins

Author: The Lesbanese Cook

Yield 8-10 people

 

INGREDIENTS:

  • 4 cups of whole milk
  • 2 cups of double or whipping cream
  • 1/2 cup of Sahlab (if not available, substitute with 1/2 cup of cornflour)
  • 3/4 cup of sugar
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • Mastic gum crushed to taste (I use about 1/4 tsp)
  • Pistachios (crushed into small pieces)

 

MAKE IT:

Place the milk in a large pot on medium heat.

Add the sugar, salt and sahlab (or cornflour) and mix them well. Keep stirring the mixture until it starts to bubble.

Now add the mastic powder and keep stirring until you bring the mixture to boil. Continue stirring for another 10-15 minutes, until the liquid gets thick and creamy.

Remove from the heat and let the mixture cool down to room temperature.

Add the cream and stir everything together until it becomes smooth.

Pour the mixture into small freezer friendly containers. When they reach room temperature, place them in the freezer for a few hours.

When you’re ready to try them, take the container out of the freezer, serve the ice cream and sprinkle the pistachios on top.

 

Here is to the stories you'll create sharing this ice cream with the people you love.

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Kebab – Kofta – Meatball. We are all one.

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“I am the original meatball”, said the Kofta.

From the original Persian cylindrical cigar sized shape to the Italian sphere known as the meatball, in all your forms Kofta, you are timeless.

Kofta is thought to originate from the Persian Koofteh, which means pounded meat. As it travelled the world, it met Lebanon in its early voyages. Then, Kofta lived through generations of ingredients and Lebanese taste buds. What our Persian friends first created with saffron, lamb and egg yolk, has become a bouquet of flavours from town to town.

I will soon fill you in on a story, written over this delicious meal. For now, Here is my take on Kofta through a simple recipe.

…

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